It's Cold Out There
image by dsnake1
Recently, fellow blogger Bluesky_Liz wrote about a poetry workshop on Guardian Unlimited, hosted by poet Esther Morgan. It sounded interesting, as the theme was about ghosts.
I wrote a piece with the intention of submitting to the workshop. It would be a good experience if it can draw some comments. Unfortunately, i missed the deadline, and did not send it in.
I wrote this poem from the perspective of the ghost, what she (yes, a lady ghost) sees in the human world, and why she is still around.
So here it is, my hauntingly lovely (I hope!) poem...
* * * * * * * * * * *
It's cold out there
it's cold out there
even for a ghost like me
trapped in the realms
between the living
and the damned
once
i saw you wept
at my tombstone
your fingers brushing
the marble
as you once
brushes my hair
tonight i sat
by your bedside
the room lit faintly
by moonlight
the stars spoke
of different lifetimes
i was just looking at you
your eyelids fluttered
in fitful sleep
i wanted to touch you
to brush your hair
but
i'm afraid
it might startle you
because once
you called out my name
tried to stretch out
your hands to me
and then fear gripped you
like a vice
and you switched on
the lights
my touch is cold
my touch is icy cold
and yes
ghosts do cry
not the salty tears you shed
the air just wavered
like sea fog
a cold draft swirled
frosty breath
to every nook
find another woman
who will love you
brings back the warmth
to your life
and then i will
go
peacefully..
till then
i'm sorry, you shivered
even under the sheets
but i just can't help it
even divided by barriers
of space and time
i love you too much
i love you too much..
16.02.06
********
posted by dsnake1 at 12:30 AM
12 Comments:
It's great that you were able to put yourself in the place of a ghost. You've put into words something I have imagined before. So...you missed your deadline, but sometimes the response you most crave is your own. I'd be proud if I wrote that! Are you?
cp,
welcome to blogging!
thanks for your comments, it makes writing this piece worth the time and effort. :)
well worth it!
there is something hauntingly (pun half-intentional) beautiful about the isolated helplessness of the ghost coupled with her feelings of love and protection
nice one
it's a beautiful poem... not the kind tat send shivers down my spine, but one tat is touching my heart... well done!!
it's a pity u missed the deadline tho', cos i'm sure u'll get many positive comments... :)
floots,
i like this piece too. it's the type of poem that after i wrote it, i was wondering how i thought it out in the first place..
lazy panda,
glad that you found it touching rather than scary. (it was intended to be touching)
hmmm, maybe i will try some dark ones that can send shivers down your back. watch out for it! :)
Very haunting and touching and sad. You should consider doing something with it nonetheless. :)
(Watch the tenses, though, some of them are not agreeing.)
This piece is lovely.... touching... but i do agree with liz about your grammar though....
liz & kittyn,
thanks for pointing out the problem areas. time to get back to school! :)
shall i send this piece to one of the on-line journals?
Yes you should. Do it up and send it out. I don't see why it should waste away on a blog. :)
lovely contrast - mostly cold and the warmth of the not-yet
liz,
thanks for the encouragement. i think i might just do that, yeah.
hi steve,
thanks for dropping by! :)
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